what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
