no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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