People with herpes should wear stickers.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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