let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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