Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
