i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
