There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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