why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
