My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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