I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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