bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
operation have a gay friend backfired
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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