She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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