This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
