Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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