At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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