Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Randomize
