i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize