So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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