i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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