the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
