I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
