I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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