yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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