I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
