In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
