He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
