clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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