cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
