I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
