JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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