If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize