i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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