Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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