I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
