Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
