Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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