Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
