It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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