The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
