She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
