I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
