You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
