...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
