He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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