he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
