So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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