my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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