We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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