so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
