dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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