I could have mohawked her pubes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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