You made me cry and you don't even care
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
