I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
