his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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