So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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