i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
