Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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