Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
