Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
