life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
