Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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