You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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