She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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