Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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