So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
