The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
