its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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